I'm really into asian looking animals
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
