You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When did we convert life to cartoon?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
