is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
