That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
