I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
