You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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