I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
