well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize