I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
