threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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