Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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