Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
