Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
