If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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