so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
