My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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