so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
