Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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