hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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