CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
