he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
