I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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