I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
