Porn is love you can see.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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