just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
