I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
