I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
