I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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