You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
