oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
