I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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