How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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