We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
