At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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