ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
