the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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