so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
