Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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