maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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