did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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