Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
