How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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