dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
