i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
