Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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