How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
