he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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