No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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