I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
