New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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