Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
