After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize