So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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