How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
