His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
