Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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