I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
