Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
