He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
