At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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