try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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