i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
