Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
