There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
