I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
